Not Your Stereotypical Single Mom Part 1: A Challenge

I never wanted to be a single mom.

But I am.

So I find myself on a road I didn’t chose or plan, but I’m trying my darndest to make the best of it. My kids are happier than they have been in years and so am I! It’s amazing what can happen when certain factors are removed from a home!

I’ve always known there are a lot of stereotypes for single moms, but in the last few months I’ve learned and even seen one that really kinda shocked me and made me really angry.

Single moms “put out” easily.

REALLY?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?!

Not me! 

It got me wondering – are most single moms really that desperate? I know it’s a lonely road – trust me I know. But I’ve also seen first hand how these “boys” who prey on single moms use their slick words and flirtatious ways, feeding off of this loneliness and using it to their advantage. To meet their lustful and selfish needs. To give them another notch in their belt. To make them feel like more of a man. So I ask you – if a guy, knowing a woman is a single mom, befriends, flirts with, pays compliments to and even gets a woman to believe he truly cares for her. Then he gets her to believe she wants to “put out” for him… and she does… why is she completely to blame for that?!?! I admit and believe that yes, she is at some fault for that. She does have a choice and she can say no. I also know how it can feel to receive compliments after years of negativity and emotional abuse. But I also know that some of these guys are very skilled with their words. They know just how to distribute their compliments, just how to get you to believe they really care. They prey on the weak and what’s worse… they know it!!!

I would like to offer up a challenge to single moms.

Let’s change the stereotypes about single moms.

Let’s stop being who society thinks we are. Let’s stop giving our hearts and bodies to men who don’t really want us – who just want to use us. (I just wanna be clear here – I’ve not given any of me to anyone and I don’t plan to any time soon!) Let’s set the example for our children for how a man should treat a woman and how a woman should treat a man. Don’t show your sons that it’s okay for him to use women! Don’t show your daughters that it’s okay to be used as a man’s play thing!

Make a commitment to yourself today. Now. This very moment.

Respect yourself. Value yourself. You are worth it! You are beautiful. You are setting an example for your children.

Please share with me ways we can support each other, hold each other accountable and change this stereotype!!

About Alicia

Alicia is a Jesus loving, homeschooling, mini-van driving, food loving, gluten-free-cuz-I-have-to-be, fun loving, choir mamaing, bike riding, So Cal born and raised solo mama to 2 amazing kiddos with 3 cats, a ginormous dog and the 2 cutest nieces ever! She had a deep passion for cooking and baking that left with her Celiac disease diagnosis in 2013, but has now returned as she experiments with and tests recipes to make them delicious and enjoyable even without the gluten! You can find all sorts of random thoughts, ideas and whatever else pops into her completely random mind right here at Big Black Trash Bag!
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